House cleaning 101

Anyone that lives in a dwelling, especially those of the feminine gender, know that house keeping is probably THEIR responsibility. I have been a domestic engineer for almost 39 years AM(after marriage). That qualifies me to give you a few pointers from the view of one whose housekeeping philosophy has deteriorated just a teensy bit over 39 years.

1. Rule number one: don't worry about it. If you can stand to live in it, don't worry about what other people think. And for heavens sake, don't make any excuses for it. That reminds me of the first time we visited the lady who bought a farmstead that once belonged to relatives on B's side of the family. The place was totally a mess. God bless her, she started making excuses for the mess. She was getting ready for a sale she said. Stuff was stacked everywhere. Neither of us cared why things were so stacked up and messy. Roll forward 10 years. We stopped in to visit this lady again. You guessed it. Those same stacks were right where they were 10 years ago the best I could tell. And yes, she was getting ready for a sale.

2. Don't deliberately make things hard for yourself. Example. I thought the bed had to be just so. It had to have the ruffle at the bottom. It had to have nice matching sheets and pillow cases, and it had to have a comforter with five decorative pillows, plus the pillows we actually used. But there came a day when I said to self, "Self, these pillows are a pain in the gluteus maximus. So I just dumped them all on the floor and that is where they are to this very day. Today I changed my flannel sheets to summer sheets. That stupid bottom ruffle has been a thorn in my flesh ever since I put it on. It would get lopsided. It would hang down in the front. I'd have to wrestle the mattress to get it even. Well today, I said, "NO MORE". I pulled that thing off so fast it was like I had just done a magic trick. Liberated! In fact I saw on TV where you are less likely to get bed vermin if you leave the bed unmade. I took their advice.

3. At any time during the last 39 years if you had asked me what household chore do you hate the most I would say, dusting. Well I want to make a testimonial here and now, my life has been turned around. I discovered the Swiffer Duster. I just love to carry it around with me and dust places that haven't been dusted since we've lived here. I actually am having fun dusting. It took me a while to figure out how to assemble it properly, but once I got going there's no stopping me now. Trouble is, in some of those high places, this fine, fine dirt comes down on me and onto the floor and I'm going to have to get out the vacuum cleaner to pick it up. My little swiffer just cannot hold all my dirt. I must buy some more duster refills. I refuse to go back to rags.

4. Go do what you want to do and don't give the house a second thought. If anyone gripes about it, there certainly is nothing stopping them from helping out a little.